Back where I come from there are men who do nothing all day but good deeds. They are called phil . . . er . . . phil . . . er . . . er . . . good-deed-doers, and their hearts are no bigger than yours. But they have one thing you haven't got! A testimonial! Therefore, in consideration of your kindness, I take pleasure at this
time in presenting you with a small token of our esteem and affection. And remember, my sentimental friend, that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others.